Why You Don't Want to Be Like Her

My family! I can name almost all of the people in this picture. Norkus/Chase Family Reunion, July 1940

• “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” (Galatians 6:4-5; NIV)

In the mid-1980s evangelist Dave Roever (Ree-ver) came to our church and gave his testimony. He is a Vietnam vet and survived a white phosphorous grenade that went off next to his face. He endured years of treatment and reconstructive surgery, but even today the scars on his body are obvious to anybody who passes him on the street. Dave Roever has travelled this nation and the globe sharing God's healing, mercy, and love. Many have come to know Jesus through his ministry, which has grown and is still reaching people around the world today...even in Vietnam, the one-time enemy!

Years later I knew a man who said he prayed to have a testimony like Dave Roever’s and to be able to reach people the way Roever did. God reminded him such a testimony could be arranged if he was willing to have a phosphorous grenade blow up next to his face. He recanted his prayer.

Why do we endeavor to be like others? We see their successes and wish we could be like them. What we don’t see is the hard work, blood, sweat, tears, frustrations, set-backs, emotions, pain, heartache and more along the way. We just see the success and want that, as if it was just handed over like a gift.

I was thinking of writing this post before I went to church on Sunday and Pastor said something that I made note of. Here’s his quote:

• “People don’t know the price you had to pay to get that position in life. Nobody wants to go through the loss or the let down to get there. But that’s part of the success.”

I recently overheard a woman say to her friend, “I wish I could be like you. You’ve lost over 100 pounds and I just can’t do it.”

I happen to know both ladies and the friend who wants to be like her 100-pound-loss friend doesn’t really realize what she had to go through to lose that 100 pounds. It was years of battle and confrontation of evilness from her past. It was years of heartache and counseling. It was, and still is, an emotional battle for her every day.

By saying, “I wish I could be like you,” she was wishing for an awful lot. I don’t think she realized what she was “asking”. Would she really be prepared to go through what her friend went through to get where she is?

The problem with food is that we need it to sustain life. We can’t live without it. Alcoholics, smokers, drug addicts have a different battle to face because they can walk away and say, “I’ll never touch that again,” and they don’t need to in order to live.  (Note: I realize it’s not that simple, but work with me here.)

Eating is a whole different thing. We HAVE to eat to live! We need the nutrients, vitamins, minerals, anti-oxidants, fiber, protein etc. We can’t just walk away from it and never touch it again, or we would die.

So my question to “the wisher” is this. How committed are you to make the change your friend did to lose over 100 pounds? Are you willing to endure the counseling, pain, raw emotions and more? Are you willing to confront the reason why you battle to start with?

Or is your battle more with self control?

• "But the fruit of the Spirit is...self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23; NIV)

Or maybe just an innocent lack of knowledge about how to nourish your body and take care of the temple of the Holy Spirit?

• "Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" (I Corinthians 3:16; NASB)

Are you committed to making a change in your lifestyle choices? A real commitment. It’s hard. It takes a conscious effort to change. It takes WORK and learning new habits and trying new foods.

It also takes TIME!

God has made each one of us unique. We should not compare ourselves to the others we see around us. We don’t know the path they’ve walked. The grass is not always greener. Success probably didn’t come easy to them.

I recently had a woman say to me, “Your life is perfect, you don’t need to worry.”

How I longed to tell her of all my shortcomings, battles, insecurities and “issues”…and that’s just from the past couple of years! I’m glad I can put on a strong front, but my life is FAR from perfect. Don’t strive to be like me or you will be sorely disappointed!

But strive to be like Jesus. He is perfect.

• “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet He did not sin.” (Hebrews 4:14; NIV)

And His plan for you is perfect.

• “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11; NIV)

You may not be where you want to be in regards to an area of your life, but keep your eyes on Him and seek Him for what He would have for you.

He may show you new and creative ways to mend a relationship. He may lead you to the ‘perfect’ someone to help with emotional or spiritual issues. He may intervene in your finances in ways you never imagined.

Just trust Him. He has a plan for YOU, one that nobody else on this planet can accomplish.

I used to compare myself to others and ended up only feeling beat down in the process. My hair wasn’t as cute, my clothes weren’t as pretty, my face was the wrong shape, blah, blah, blah.

But I learned who I am in Christ. He taught me about where I came from and what my heritage is and I learned much about my ancestors who came before me. In that, I learned to be content with myself and stopped comparing myself to others. Today I’m thrilled with who I am, what I look like and even love what I wear. (Thank you, Stein Mart!)

I pray you learn to be content with who you are in Him. It’s not worth it to compare yourself to others. You only waste time and beat yourself up in the process. And that will cause you to miss God’s BEST for your life.

Does this describe you? Do you want to talk about this? Are you feeling like you don’t know where to turn or what to do? Send me an email and we’ll “talk”. Or find a trusted friend you can be honest with. But please remember to count the cost before wishing to be like someone else. Just be who God created YOU to be.

August Be Real Newsletter

(c) 2009, Kathy Fannon; Kollen Park, Holland, MI

Here's what you missed last month!

Chillax!

Once A Mom, Always A Mom

My son, May 2006

This morning as a I got in my mini van at the local grocery store, a mini van pulled into the spot next to me. A young mom got out, opened the slider door and unbuckled her little man. He was probably about 2-years-old. I smiled as I watched them walk hand-in-hand into the store, remembering the days when it was me walking with my little man.

As I pulled out of my spot, I noticed another mom getting her little girl out of the back of a mini van. I always loved those days of shopping with my kids; such fun.

I thought about how I have been driving a mini van since just after the birth of my son, almost 18 years. I have always loved my mini van and never have wanted to go back to driving a car. But lately I've been feeling like it's time to give up the mini van. My son will be 18 next month and drives himself most places he needs to go and I just don't need a vehicle that size anymore. It's time for me to move into the next phase of life...with a crossover vehicle!

I'm thinking something like an Enclave, Equinox, or a Journey would be really nice.

I went on about my errands this morning, driving around town. I got sick of the playlist on my iPod and looked for something different. I was close to home so it didn't matter what I chose, I just needed something for five more minutes.

Since I was driving I didn't want to spend a lot of time scrolling through my 3700+ songs, so I hit the "Playlists" tab. I scrolled through and saw the one with my son's name on it - songs I have because he played them and I like them. Quickly having to scroll to something so I could keep my eyes on the road I found one. Here it is: "Big and Chunky" from Madagascar!

I had to laugh at myself! I want to move into the next phase of vehicle driving because my kids are grown, but I'm still listening to music from animated movies!

How about you? What phase of life are you in? Are you ready to give up the mini van or looking to get one? Do you like songs from animated movies? (We do!) Leave your thoughts and comments below...and share your favorite movie song!


Read my previous post: What I Did On Saturday!

What I Did On Saturday!

All photos (c) 8/27/11, Kathy Fannon (Click images to enlarge)

First...look at that amazing, deep color! Food on our plates should be colorful and beautiful like that. Beige food in abundance is boring! (And I do apologize for the blur. Rats. Sometimes it's hard to tell if a picture looks right on that little screen.)

There are only a few weeks left to get Red Haven peaches. Peppers and onions must be stocked for winter soups and omelets. The cucumber needs to be marinated. And tomatoes and basil just need to be eaten!

I peeled and cut the peaches and put them on a cookie sheet to freeze. Often I let them freeze overnight before putting them into freezer bags. They usually freeze onto the pan because of the juice, but I just run a washcloth under hot water, wring tight, then set the sheet on the washcloth. They warm up right away and just enough to pull the peaches off the pan to get them into a bag!

Last year was the first winter I froze peaches and I ate them all within a couple of months. This year I'm freezing a few more and will see how long they last in the freezer. These will be especially delicious when I thaw a few for breakfast in the fall!

I love snack-size bags for freezing onions and peppers; one pepper or half of an onion fit perfect. When I make omelets I split a bag between my husband and I (of both peppers and onions). When I make soup I just dump a bag-full in! (Sometimes two.) Easy, because the chopping work is already done; and I never thaw them first. Time saver!

I put the snack-size bags in a quart-size freezer bag to store. It also keeps the onion from sharing itself with the berries in my freezer!

The cucumber...oh, the cucumber! How I enjoyed holding a cucumber without a waxy coating! I peeled and thin-sliced this baby and thew it in some marinade. I LOVE vinegar, so my mix of 1 part water and 1 part white vinegar may be a little strong for you, but it is yummy! I also added a little salt and garlic powder.

I roasted corn again on Saturday. I may try for a few more ears this week again, but I think I'm all set on that for the winter. I spent about 3 hours in the kitchen with all of my chopping, peeling, slicing, marinading, husking and freezing. Yeah, it took some time, but I love doing it and I listened to my iPod while I worked so the time went really fast. And now I won't have to do the work later! Doesn't it all come out the same in the end anyway? Actually, it probably saves time because you don't have to keep getting the cutting board out and washing and putting away that knife!

When I finished with all of that I made some Whole Wheat-Honey Quinoa muffins. Then I sat down for lunch with Caprese Salad made with the tomatoes and basil I got at the farmers market. Altogether, I spent 5 hours in the kitchen, but it flew by!

How did you spend your Saturday? Summer is almost done, what activities are you trying to squeeze in at the last minute?


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Read my previous post: Healthy Low-Cost Lunch (Hint: You'll be surprised by how much vitamin C is in one cup of broccoli!)